Cupid’s Guide to Limerence vs. Love: What Exactly Are You Feeling?

Love moves all people. A 2019 survey revealed that love is the single biggest motivator for marriage. 88% of Americans believe that love is a very important reason for marriage. 

Yet not all people feel love in the same way. Many people feel limerence, and they mistake it for love. 

What is limerence vs. love? What are the stages of limerence that a person can go through? What is a crush like? 

Answer these questions and you can determine your own feelings for someone else. Here is your quick guide. 

What Is Limerence? 

Limerence is a kind of love. It occurs when an individual feels a deep sense of infatuation with someone else. 

Their infatuation may become an all-consuming passion. They may experience intrusive thoughts, including sexual ones. Many people feel limerence when they are tired or distressed over something. 

Their feelings may cause changes in their lifestyle. They may try to make the other person happy by changing the way they dress or behave.

This may win the other person over, or it may provoke no response. A lack of response can deepen the infatuation without resolution. 

Experts in the science of love debate over limerence. Some people regard it as important, while others feel it is insignificant or fictional. 

Stages of Limerence

There are three stages of limerence. An individual begins with infatuation.

They feel the person they have feelings for is unobtainable. This makes the other person more alluring and it can generate numerous effects. They may have heart palpitations and stress over how they cannot obtain their love. 

The individual may then progress into crystallization. Their ideas about the person they love become more concrete. They regard the other person as the solution to their personal problems, putting them on a pedestal. 

But their ideas may soon deteriorate. They realize they will never have the person they admire. They feel a sense of loss, but most people move on with their lives. 

Limerence vs. Love 

Limerence is a form of love, but love can have some distinct qualities. Love may be consensual, with two people having feelings for each other. Limerence may be one-sided, with one person unaware of another’s affection for them. 

Most people who are in love know the person they have feelings for. Limerence may be more distant. 

Some people confuse limerence with a crush. A crush can have similar obsessive tendencies as limerence, but most crushes are healthy. Individuals can think about other things, while people with limerence are single-minded. 

Get Help for Your Emotions

Limerence vs. love is an important distinction to make. Limerence involves feelings of intense admiration for someone else. The person with limerence may not know the person they have emotions for. 

Limerence takes place over time. A person may feel infatuation that progresses into ideas of grandeur. These ideas may shatter, leaving the individual feeling sad. 

Love does not involve obsession as limerence does. A crush takes place over less time than limerence because a person thinks about other things. 

But the love vs. limerence debate is not resolved. Get the facts about love by following our coverage.